First Week
He:
I wait everyday till 9.00 in the office even if there is no work. All of my teammates ask me why; how can I tell them that I don't wait for any personal or official work but the only reason why I wait is the 'secretary'- a girl in my 9.15 p.m bus.
'Secretary' is not her real name, it's sort of a code name given to her by me and my friends. Truly speaking, I like her. She might not be one of those who look like Aishwarya Rai or Preitty Zinta, but she is cute and simple and that's the reason I like her. For past 6 months I have been staring at her in the bus, while going to office and coming back from the office. When I get into bus, somehow my eyes search the whole bus just to have her glimpse.
I never had a girlfriend till now, not that I don't like to have friendship with girls but somehow they usually prefer tall-dark-handsome qualities in their boyfriends, out of which I possess none. I don't want to jump to any relationship like this with the secretary but at least just a friendship, is it possible?
I want to talk to her. I want to have friendship with her. I know her name, for I had seen her ID card one day. But I don't have the guts to talk to her.
I even don't know whether she knows me even by face. I know, no one can help me here; no-one other than myself, but I simply have no guts.
At least someone probably a common friend, might at least formally introduce us to each other.
SHE:
There is one guy in my office bus. His name is Niranjan. I think he likes me, for me and even my friends have observed him many times staring at myself.
Even when he gets into the bus, rather than searching for an empty seat, his eyes search the whole bus for me. Don't know why but I kind of like it.
Sometimes the feeling of knowing that someone loves you is far better than actually loving somebody. I didn't have any affair till today, not that I didn't like or love anyone, there was a guy in my college, whom I liked a lot but somehow he stayed away from me, not that he didn't like me but probably because I am not that beautiful and he wanted someone much more better than me.
This guy, Niru, that's what his friends call him, I had heard it once in the bus; he seems to be interested in me, not sure about love as such but friendship might not be bad. At least the guy seems to be descent one. I would like to be his friend, but how can I go forward?
After all he is the boy, he should come one step ahead …not me.
Second Week
He:
My roommate told me to approach her and get introduced to her all by myself. It's not that easy; this is not a college,
What if she complains about this to higher authorities? No, I can't take this risk.
Someone else better introduce her to me. God, can you help me please?
SHE:
My cousin told me to show some sign to him that I am ok in having friendship with him. I think he is afraid to come forward.
I'll give him a good friendly smile tomorrow, when he gets into the bus.
I hope he understands and decrypts my signal. God, can you please help him?
GOD :
Now should I come into this picture? Both of these human beings are acting as if they are in a big problem.
Although not for me, I had made life so simple for you, just added a bit of emotions there and see how complex you have made it.
Now that I am the god, you must have been expecting me to intervene and have some miracle, but no; I won't interfere here.
I have created this world with some fixed rules and everything is just working as per that.
Why should I just interfere and break my own rules thereby disrupting the balance of this whole system
3rd week
He:
Today when I got into the bus and looked at her, she returned back a cute smile. Was she serious?
I don't know; probably she must have told her friends about me and they must have been making fun of me and that's why when I got into the bus she started laughing and I misunderstood it for smiling. Such a fool of me.
Damn, her friends must be having fun discussing things about me.
SHE:
Today when he got into the bus, I smiled at him. But he seemed to be more puzzled than pleased.
Is he really interested in having friendship with me or not? I really don't know. Why am I thinking so much about him?
Have I started liking him? Or is it just like you just get used to some things as a habit, and then you unknowingly start liking them?
I think it's the latter case here. Please god please let that guy be a descent one. My sixth sense says he is a descent guy.
I think he must have got puzzled because of the smile I gave him. It wasn't my fault, for I showed him that I am interested in friendship.
Now the ball lies in his court. Will he dare first to talk?
He:
I am damn confused. I don't know what to do. Every day everyone around me is bombard me with some tactics to approach her but nothing seems to suit me well. My roommates even started taunting me that I can't have a girlfriend or at least the guts to approach the gal.
I am leaving it now on luck. I will just continue whatever is going on; let the luck take us wherever and however intended.
4th week
He :
Nothing unusual or special happened in the last few days. However, today I thought something interesting might happen.
The bus was about to start the back-home journey today when she and one of her friends got into the bus.
They were searching for a place to sit. I was alone on a seat of three. I was thrilled that she would sit on the same seat beside me.
But she just came, momentarily paused at the seat, turned to her friend and just went past; to sit on the last seat.
I couldn't see the expressions on her face clearly but what I saw was a face filled up with hate or some similar feeling that clearly showed expression such as whatever might happen, I am not going to sit beside this *****.
It was really heartbreaking. It was the biggest insult I had suffered till now. Am I so hopeless?
5th week
He:
Today, there was public holiday so I got lot of time to think and analyze the situation. What was my fault?
I haven't done anything wrong. I didn't ever talk to her, I never tried to flirt, I never gossiped about her except for my close friends.
I am even sure that none of my co-travelers in the bus know that I like her. Whenever I stare at her I take necessary precaution as not to be too obvious. I don't want to embarrass her in any way. When I am trying my best for this, then why did she have such cruel expressions on the face?
I think either she knows now that I like her and stare at her and she doesn't want to encourage me or simply, she just hates me for no reason, just like many of my classmates who hate me for no reason.
I don't know what to do now, but either ways I think she just doesn't want me to be anywhere around her. She just hates me.
Just one more failure. Does it hurt? Yes it does, but I am very much used to it. I'll try my best not to look at her. I don't want to do anything that she doesn't like.
I will try to forget her as if she was just one more dream in my life which simply didn't come true. Probably, I don't deserve to be with her.
This is fate after all. I will have to obey it.
I don't know; probably she must have told her friends about me and they must have been making fun of me and that's why when I got into the bus she started laughing and I misunderstood it for smiling. Such a fool of me.
Damn, her friends must be having fun discussing things about me.
6th week
SHE:
Today I saw him in the food court. He was there with two girls and was chatting, laughing, cracking jokes.
He seemed to enjoy the company. Is he also a typical boy who just wants to have as many girls around him as possible?
Is he a typical flirt? Does he want me also to get included in that group for showcasing?
Probably the two girls were just good friends of him. At least I hope so. Please god please let those be his sisters or just friends, nothing else.
He:
Since that evening thing has happened, I have left staring at her. I don't know but some inner voice is telling me to keep away.
I am not a street walking beggar to be treated like this. She might consider herself whatever she might think of.
She is beautiful, indeed, but that doesn't mean she can insult me like that.
I have sward not to look at her again anymore and just to avoid her looks.
But I can't stay like this. I just like her and want to be with her. She has committed a mistake, but wasn't that a bit natural?
She doesn't like me and doesn't want to encourage my feelings about her. Simple isn't it?
That's it. A complete halt for my feelings and my dreams, but I don't think I can manage not to have even a look at her.
Will I be able to do it?
There is some saying, 'Oh god, change the situation around me to favor me. At least give me the strength to change it.
If I can't change it, at least give me the strength to bear it.' Oh God, please listen to me.
GOD:
You don't remember me when you are happy or contempt do you?
When there is a problem or a really difficult situation, then you start remembering me or praising me don't you?
I still won't interfere here. My world is a complex entity with each and every thing or event properly planned for some specific future as well as past reason.
Why should I interfere and break the balance of all these systems myself?
7th Week
HE:
By the time I am writing this, Valentine’s Day is already over. It doesn’t matter anyways, since nothing unusual has happened today. The day had been very much like other 365 days in the year or probably last 21 valentine’s days in my life. I was hoping that I at least get to catch her glimpse but fate didn’t seem to favor me even this much. Due to this night shift, I am even deprived of her glimpses. Today, I even lingered a bit at the gates at the usual bus timing to watch her, but she didn’t turn up. I think god wants to signal me to keep away from her. My insult that day was the first one and now this was the second one. Ok god, I got it.
SHE:
Valentine’s day is over but I couldn’t manage even to see him today. I thought today he might come to me and have a talk, but he didn’t. Even he is not traveling nowadays by the usual bus. Did he change home or worst the company itself?
Today all my teammates have gone out with their valentines and I am alone back home. That’s why I left the office early and came straight back to home. If that evening thing wouldn’t have happened, probably today I would not have been alone. I think the fate doesn’t want us together. Probably so. Ok god, if this is what is intended for me, ok; I accept it, obviously I anyways don’t have any alternative, but still.
8th Week
HE:
I was working last nights for the whole month so had to travel by cab rather than bus. I used to work from 11.00 am. to 12.30 a.m. so naturally I had lost contact with almost all people working in dayshift except for my teammates who would surrender the charge to me while leaving for the day. For the whole month I didn’t travel by bus. Obviously didn’t see her. She works in the adjacent building only, but I don’t know where her cubicle is located exactly and anyways even if I would be knowing that, I don’t think I have that much guts to approach her.
For almost a month I didn’t see her, but I didn’t feel any desperation to see her. I was unbelievably aloof in this case. Was it the effect of that evening incidence?
9th Week
HE:
Today, the office had planned to screen a movie in the campus. I had seen it but thought of enjoying it with friends in the open air. I took the permission for an hour from my boss and went for that. The dialogues were not much audible on the lawns, but it was fun to watch the movie in an open air theatre like that. I was to leave the place to return to my cubicle and turned around when I saw her standing there just around 10 feet away from me.
I don’t know why but my heart started speeding a lot higher than even Michael Schumaker’s Ferrari. She just smiled at someone in the crowd at my back, tried her best not to look directly to me and just left the place. I stood there for a minute or two just wondering what had happened.
Why did she smile? Did she feel good that I am still in the same company only or she didn’t even take notice of my presence and really smiled at someone in the crowd at my back? But we were so close that it was practically impossible for her to just ignore me.
SHE:
I saw him today, at the movie screening. Thank god he is still working with this company only. I thought of smiling at him and greeting him. I was so happy to see him, I wanted to ask him where he was for so many days, whether he was not well, had he changed his house or was he using bike for the transport, but again I didn’t ask a single question. I stayed calm. I didn’t want to embarrass him again.
I don’t know what I feel about him, but somehow whenever I see him, I do feel better. I hope he starts travelling by bus again. Everyday we can see each other in the morning and wish each other a very good morning without any words or smile but just with a plain look.
10th Week
HE:
I resumed my normal duty today. It was good to see all those familiar faces once again after so many days. Of course my eyes were searching only one face out of that but still.
Just like my normal schedule, I got into the bus. She was sitting there with the same plain look on her face, nowhere even a single line of recognition, but when she saw me, her face reflected a small smile. It couldn’t escape my notice. Was she happy to see me back in the bus? I don’t know about her, but I was definitely happy to see her.
SHE:
I was so happy, I tried my best to conceal my happiness but I felt like getting up from my seat and just sit beside him and talk, talk and just talk to him. Hey what’s this? What’s happening to me? I never felt like this for anyone. Is this just sympathy for that evening thing or is this love? No chance of it. I don’t believe in this love at first sight or so. We don’t know each other, we don’t know anything about each other, how can this be love? Probably just infatuation… whatever it may be… I am loving this feeling very much.
…To be continued …….
